D*mn cat!

[birdlife]

I let our cat in, put her food down (bending of course to do this) - she turned her nose up, walked away. I put some water down (bending again), she sniffed it, walked away. (I'm getting some twinges in the perineum with this bending). I sighed. I bent again, this time with one leg stretched out behind me cos my knees can get stiff, to change the water for some milk. She didn't even sniff that,walked off. A few minutes later a large house spider scuttled past her towards me while she was stretched out in cat heaven, thankfully my husband put a glass over its 8-legged vastness. The cat finally saw the movements in the glass (eeeww!) and got up and tapped it with her paw. She kept tapping till she tilted the glass enough to let it out, walked off and left it! Mad panic (for me) while my hubby traps it again and we chucked both her and the spider outside. Two hours later, at 2AM, I could hear her yowling out the back. Thought she was being bullied by a neighbour's cat, so got up out of my nice warm bed and unlocked Fort Knox (3 locks on conservatory door, another 3 locks on patio, bend, bend, bend) and she came in with head down. Reason being, as I realised after I'd finished locking up again (bend, burn, bend!), she'd put a (live) mouse down on the carpet. Now I quite like little mice, but am fast going off my cat. I rushed to get a glass to put over it (ouch, another bend), but she got there first and went under the dining table with the poor thing. More bending while I get her out of there (she didn't want to go) and back into the conservatory, unlock the d*mn door again, chuck her out, and bend yet again to lock it! I go off to bed, muttering unprintable things against the feline race in general and PN in particular!

[Laura]

You are so right about what you say in your signature, "cats have slaves. "
You just proved it about fifty times tonight. Maybe you can look at it this way; she was trying to prove her mommy (you) is not a liar! Refer to signature again.
Are you bending down like I suggested, and for anyone else out there there at least it works for me. I open my legs wide and then go down. Doesn't seem to hurt my nerve this way. PLEASE take care of your pudendal nerve.

[helenlegs 11]

Thanks for making me smile poor you. . . . . no can't help smiling . Laura so much for the lady like poses, don't do that in a breeze!

[birdlife]

Might have known you two would laugh . Yes, mustve been a deeply subconscious thing when I chose that signature!
The frog-leg bend would be the ideal solution Laura, if my knees werent so rubbish. I can bend down lithely and 5mins later am still down there, stuck . So sticking one leg out behind me a la arabesque (with leggings on, Helen ) is my only alternative. It works though, doesn't stretch that nerve, just need a lot of room!
I'd get a catflap but my hubby says they're a security risk (incredibly small burglar, then!)