I havent' been on here much lately but I happened to be scanning the board because I'm up early, not quite 4am over here.
I am glad I happened to find this, just to offer my heartfelt condolences and support.
You seem to have a very good handle on what the problems were that led up to this, and it sounds like you are doing the best you can with the situation. So no words of wisdom or anything, I am just sorry your relationship is struggling

When you are feeling low and lonely, you know you have friends on here to PM, I for one would be happy to hear from you anytime.
Take care and I hope you can work this out.