I don't know how it feels ...

[calluna]

Sunil - please, please seek help. Urgently.

The fastest and easiest thing is to go to your nearest A&E and just ask, tell them about these thoughts, tell them that you know you need help with this, urgently. If you are not comfortable doing that, then please call your GP's out-of-hours service and tell them what you've just told us.

Please don't give up.

[carolynm]

Sunil,

I don't know your story, where you were born, why you are in Australia, where your father lives, etc. Can you not go "home" to where your parents and sister are? You need to be taken care of by someone who loves you, and it sounds as if you have family somewhere. GO TO THEM. That is what families are for.

cari

[calluna]

Sunil I can hear that you are very unhappy and bitter, and I am so sorry about this - but things can get better, if you want them to.

GPs are not thieves or bad people any more than anyone else, nor are the doctors who work in A&E. They are just people like you and I - and my daughter who is a doctor - doing their jobs.

How to deal with mental pain - the best way is to get professional help. Here in the UK medical care really is free. I understood that Australia also had free medical care, but maybe I am wrong. Is it very expensive to visit your GP or A&E?

We all have to advocate for ourselves, it is part of taking responsibility for our own health - and that includes mental health. Do you want your life to improve? Do you want things to get better? Then you need to seek help.

[sam]

I am sorry Sunil, I know what you mean, everybody have their own life to lead and it is very difficult to live with chronic patients like us, even though they are our own children or husband, we need to give them their space, I know I am not doing justice to them by my constant complaining, so I can very well imagine your state. I am battling everyday with my illness and atleast I want to be in a state where I dont disturb them. It is really very hard, in some ways I used to feel it is better to stay alone also so that we dont disturb others, my goal is to search for some diversion to distract myself but that too is very difficult with this pain.Our success lies in finding our own strategies in fighting with this disease. We are all here for you so please dont feel discouraged, please take something for your pain and you will be in a better position to think.

[calluna]

Good morning Sunil!

Well, I was wrong there, then - I thought there was Medicare at the very least. Are you not really not entitled to any free medical treatment at all? Over here that would only happen if someone was not normally a UK resident, and they would always treat first and ask questions afterwards. I'm just a bit stunned to hear this, that's all - not disbelieving you. Although I am an Australian national - dual Australian and UK nationality, actually - I've never lived there.

It is hard when the money runs out. Things are tight financially at the moment, food prices and energy bills just seem to go up and up and there is no additional money coming in to pay for the increases.

I can't see how going away for for medical treatment can be described as 'deserting your partner' though. If that is what your partner said, it seems to me that was said to hurt, not as an objective comment. The fact that it was said, does not make it true.

It is so good that your SIJ issues are better and the pain is less. Things take a while to heal, you may see more improvements over time, perhaps?

By the way - if you have access to a public library, you might find this book useful - Mind over Mood - I've found it very helpful myself. It is basically a CBT workbook. Very worthwhile - it is very practical and offers immediate solutions as well as long term. Just an idea - if it helps you even half as much as it has helped me, then it will be well worth the time spent.

[calluna]

Well, we've all got issues, and I'm sure your partner does too. Nobody is perfect. It really does sound as if these things are being said to hurt - does it seem that way to you?

It is hard when someone that we care about says nasty things - because who knows our weak points better? - and it is even harder to hear such words when we are feeling down to start with - but do think about why these things are being said.

Hearing these things makes you feel as if you are not a good person - it does not mean that's actually the case.

Stick with it, Sunil, please. We are all here for you. (And remember the library, and that book!)

[Laura]

Sunil we care about you and we don't think you are a horrible needy person! I also think you're wrong when you say you have nothing to offer another person. You are kind, (I have read your posts)
You reach out to help others. I'm sure you have a lot of compassion and understanding for others considering what you have been through! Don't sell yourself short. People like you are very much needed in this world. Sex isn't love. You can find someone to love you without having sex! Don't give up.

[calluna]

Stick with it, Sunil, please. We are all here for you. (And remember the library, and that book!)

What library and book?

Public library, and the book that I was talking about further up this thread.