My journey with God

[FFSeth]

Hi all, I just wanted to post about my experience with God through this last year of pain. I am a Christian. Before I was in pain I was not so sure. As a fireman I've seen some really bad stuff and could never figure why God would let these things happen. I still don't have an answer but I feel like I am beginning to understand some things.

In January I went to California with my father to a healing service. While I was there I saw incredible faith building acts of God. Metal rods disappeared from people's body's. Body parts were transformed before my eyes. And diseases vanished in the name of Jesus. A woman with lymes disease for 34 years was healed instantly. God is very very real.

Last November I stopped treatment completely. I prayed and received prayer as much as I possibly could. I fasted and read the bible. I experienced God in a very real way. One night while my father was praying for me I felt what I can only describe as a hurricane rushing through my body. This was God. It can't be attributed to emotions or endorphins. Since that day my pain has been less. In January, after months of prayer and fasting I was on my last leg. Hopelessly depressed with my lack of progress aside from the relief I got from prayer. Out of nowhere I was contacted by a stranger via this forum. He told me he had learned that the pain I have can be referred from the spine. I blew him off at first because I had put God in a box. He was going to heal me of this incurable condition with a miracle. But my wife suggested we check it out. I rolled up a Yoel and placed it under my back and lied down on it. Sure enough it reproduced my pudendal pain. I had my wife push on my spine and again it reproduced my pain. This was from God. He showed me what was wrong with me and I will forever be grateful.

When this pain started I was watching the World Cup soccer game sitting in my fathers couch. I was barely a Christian. I took my family to church but had major doubts in my heart. While watching the game I heard the voice of God for the first time in my life. He said to me "be faithful". I know this was God because it is not language I would have ever used. He was warning me of what was to come.

I am still in pain. I am still pursuing God like crazy. He has been strangely silent the last few months. I am improving slowly and know I will be completely healed. I have no doubt about that. I don't know when but I will be healed.

Weeks before my pain started my wife had a dream. I was very thin and sitting in an awkward way on the couch. Months later that image would become a reality as I lost 30 pounds of muscle and was unable to sit normally. Another warning from God.

Anyway I wanted to post my experiences with a God who has become very real to me in this year. While I don't understand him I am grateful for what he is doing in my heart. I will never fully understand the implications of this period in my life. It could be that my great grandchildren someday enter heaven because of the changes God has made in my heart during this time.

I know God is good. I know he loves us. And I know I will not be like this forever. In his wisdom he has put me in this place. He has humbled me and made me fully dependent on him. I am grateful for that. Sometimes Gods mercy looks nothing like mercy to us. But I have accepted that God knows what is best for me. I don't. I hope someone can draw hope from my experiences. God is real. That is about the only thing I am sure of anymore

[Patty]

I have prayed to God for many months to help me with this pain. He has not answered me yet. I'm loosing patience.