Possible PN and suicide

[Pearl6]

Hi,

I'm female and in my early 20's. I've had problems with constipation since I was 12. I would hold my poop because it would hurt to go. Then I would have to strain. I ate too much junk food and ended up having too much yeast in my intestines. I remember having a big, bloated belly for years but not thinking anything of it because I was still going 3/4 times a week. I was also sweating excessively back then. I didn't realize something was wrong with me until I was 19.

I started having symptoms of cystitis 2 years ago. I would have a strong urgency to go to the bathroom.
For the past 2 months, I have constant pain in my vagina, pain when sitting, (can't sit for more than a few minutes) and strong urgency to go to the bathroom. I also have chills and my hands and feet sweat despite me being cold.

I'm wondering if this is being caused by the chronic constipation?
Is it possible I damaged or stretched my pudendal nerve from years of constipation?
I'm still a little constipated now, but I have one movement a day, so I'm much better.

I'm suffering from anxiety and I'm afraid I've damaged my nerves beyond repair. It's made me suicidal and I don't know what to do.
I feel like my life has been taken from me. It's too painful to live in this much pain.

Thank you for listening.

[Violet M]

Hi Pearl,

I don't know if you have PN but if you do, I doubt very strongly that you have damaged your nerves beyond the possibility of healing. I had a long history of constipation before getting PN pain but I am doing great now. About 8 years ago I started using magnesium citrate daily to prevent constipation and my primary care doctor said it's fine to use it on a regular basis. With a little trial and error I figured out the amount that works. The goal is to keep your stools about the consistency of applesauce. There are other ideas for constipation at the following link: http://www.pudendalhope.info/node/32

I don't think you have to consign yourself to living in pain for the rest of your life either. There are many treatment options available and it wouldn't make sense to end it all if you haven't exhausted all of your options. There was a time I didn't think I would ever get well but I live a great life now and hardly ever think about PN pain anymore. So please keep your courage up and seek out the treatment that you need from a specialist who knows what they are doing. What treatments have you tried so far?

Violet

[Pearl6]

Along with these issues, I also had a sexual trauma. My boyfriend got too excited during sex and tore me pretty bad.
I passed a lot of blood clots. After 3 weeks, those healed but then my vaginal pain started.

So far, the vaginal pain has been there for 2 months. I also can't sit without pain. There's also a feeling of something in my rectum.

I'm waiting to start my physical therapy on June 7th. I'm very nervous.

Thanks for your quick reply.

[Amy01]

Hello Pearl, cannot say with confidence but is sounds that nerves are damaged. Voilet has some good advice. Never loose hope, wish you see bright days ahead.

[Buttercup28]

Hi Pearl,

I would not just assume that your nerves are damaged right off the bat. It's very likely that your entire pelvic floor is in mass spasm -- meaning that it's more of a muscle problem potentially. Once you start PT, you will get a better idea of what is going on down there. Good luck with PT!

~ Buttercup

[Pearl6]

Thank you for your replies.

Amy, do you think my nerves are damaged beyond repair? How can I get a doctor to test this?

Thank you Buttercup. I really hope the PT helps.

[Ray P.]

Please do not kill yourself!

[Pearl6]

I forgot to mention that along with the vaginal pain, I'm also having sharp, shooting pains in my feet, and burning pain in my lower stomach and hips.
I also have pain in my legs. It seems like nerve pain to me, and it all seems connected. I have throbbing in the front part of my thigh.

I'm very scared. I don't know what to do. I can't see a neurologist for awhile.

[Violet M]

Maybe you can ask your primary care doctor about prescribing some medication like Lyrica or Gabapentin for neuropathic pain. Also, have they recommended any imaging studies like an MRI to make sure everything in your spine checks out OK? Even though it's very possibly muscle pain with tense muscles impinging on nerves, it's good to rule anything else out.

When you start PT, the therapist should be able to assess for musculoskeletal issues that might be contributing to your pain. In the meantime, you could try some ice and heat for pain relief. I used an electric heating pad and gel ice packs.

Violet

[Emily B]

Dear Pearl,

Please know you are not alone and we care. We have all had times when we have felt hopeless and some of us have had thoughts of suicide because of our pain. Please reach out for help. You can call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. They are available 24/7.

Emily B.