Effect of PNE in your words.

[stratts]

Hi Kia Kaha,

I have not been on for a while. I don;t have access to a computer at my own house due to financial reasons!!

Thank you for your post and to all of your replies. To be honest i can totally relate to you. I have also lost motivation and inspiration. I used be so motivated and would hit all tasks and life in general head on.

I am in a similar situation to you right now, however, i live alone and find it very difficult both physically and mentally.

I am a very clean person and house proud. I just will not give in and still have to do all my own house work and washing ect. I still do it despite knowing i will have horrible pain as a result. I get so frustrated when my friends and family say you should just leave your house work!! Especially when like my mum says it and i know if the tables were turned she would do exactly the same as me and still do it. After all i get my cleaning habits from my mum!!

But like i have always said it is so easy for somebody outside to give advice, but it is different when it is you.

I often just want to do things and my mind is still very active, after all it is very difficult to change the person you are.

But it has got to the stage now where i live in constant fear of doing anything which will cause me bad pain. It is started to make me lazy with no motivation at all. I am actually aware that i am getting like this. I think the Morphine patches are making it worse.

I can totally feel your frustration. It has totally changed the person i am. I don't think i will ever be the same again. Like you i used to have so much to offer as a friend or partner and everybody seemed to want to be around me and my relationships were good. But now like yourself i have lost my career and my relationship and to be honest feel extremely lonely and isolated.

I do miss having a partner so much, just having that somebody to talk to and support you. It makes a huge difference. At least you still have your husband who seems to be standing by you. This is a huge help.

To be honest the only people who will ever fully understand us is members of this and similar forums, people who suffer from the same condition. That's why its good to open up occasionally like you said and release some frustration and chat to others.

Unlike you i have really struggled to keep on top of my feelings and state of mind lately and it has tested me to my limits. Speaking to others on this site has really helped me and i am further on now than ever before. I am at a stage where i am finally pushing for the right help, but just so exhausted that some days i slip down again, more often than not lately!!

Thank you so much for your detailed post, a lot of what you said really touched me because i can relate to it so much.

Was just wondering if you have had a proper diagnosis yet. Have you seen any specialists who might be able to help. The reason i am asking is that it is never too late and like i have said many times due to my own experience you have to keep pushing and pushing to get answers and help. I really hope you can get some help to at least give you some of yourself back. This is what we are all really looking for, some say get your life back which is true, but really its about getting yourself back!!

Take Care
Stratts