Pudendal neuralgia since since 2005

[MelissaP]

Hello my fellow sufferers, I was on this forum many many years ago but drifted away over the years. I am back in search of information, support, answers maybe lol idk. Just basically something to renew some spark of hope in my otherwise dismal existence as I have been in a downward spiral of constant rectal pain on my left side (which was diagnosed by a urogynocologist via nerve testing back in 2006/2007) coupled with severe depression relating to the PN. So much so that I lost all hope and had a quite severe suicide attempt in Sept 2015. And have been struggling to make it through each day ever since. I am so frustrated right now that I am literally crying and having a mini meltdown lol all because I had been having a text conversation earlier with a normally very good, kind, and loving dear friend of mine with whom I was sharing some of my struggles with relating to PN. The friend texted this well meaning response to me ‘you can be anything you want to be Melissa’ Well for some reason this teensy little statement just made me so incredibly angry. And I am normally a super chilled out, very calm sort of individual who rarely if ever gets angry at people. I just honestly wanted to reach through the phone and slap this person lol. I was thinking in my head ‘sure that’s like telling a double amputee they can be the worlds number one leg model or some shit...lets bring out the rainbows, unicorns, & kittens and all sing folk songs together while we’re at it’. I do not know why this misguided statement made me so ridiculously upset. I told my friend ‘you don’t understand, but no one really can and it’s ok’ and they texted back ‘I think I do’...at that point I was done and I just lost it and here I am lol. Sooooo anyone feel me?

[Patty]

Melissa I stopped trying to explain how PN has ruined my life to my friends. They have no idea what it is like to not bike run or ski. My social life evolved around my activities. Just this morning I was practically in tears seeing bike riders. I have tried everything except surgery to get better. So your response is not unusual. I feel the same and again why I don't bring my pain up any more.

[Violet M]

I agree, only someone who has had PN can truly understand what you are going through. I think her statement that you can be anything you want to be was insensitive as to how much this really affects your life. It seems like a way of saying you should just get over it and move on. I think everyone here knows that is impossible with PN pain.

Violet